I was initially so sad. Thought I'd miss the chance. My dad told me never mind, there will always be chance, but I wasn't convinced. After reading the email more closely, I thought it wouldn't be very useful to me anyways, since I'm not the thinking and speaking up type of person, but I still felt that the chance would be wasted if I can't go.

Just so stubborn. Myself.

In the end I decided to complain about it. Lol. Though I thought I really shouldn't. Should have drawn the line sooner.

After that I was glad that there may actually be a chance that I can go this tea party, although not very likely that RIJC and HCI will have it on the exact same day, nor asking the professor to change the day for the training. But at least he tried. And I'm happy.

I tried.


Didn't go for the extra training at Bishan stadium yesterday morning. Although it's beneficial for me. Wasn't feeling very well and so didn't feel like going. Hasn't been feeling well since 2 Wednesdays ago. Really tired and worn out and stressed. I feel that I'm wasting everyone's time anyway, but He told me not to give up. I'm only wasting everyone's time if I keep being so lazy and negative. Must try to make better use of my time without compromising on my beauty sleep. I was almost late on Friday, really thank God I wasn't. I don't know how the school bell got even slower than my watch, but it mustn't have happened by chance. Therefore I must grab every likely opportunity that God has placed in front of me and make full use of it. And be more dependent on Him and not anyone else, especially not myself. I am weak but He is strong! Can't be so proud and complacent anymore. He loves me so much.

Everything that He has done for me, to take me so far. I'll embrace it with much love too.

"Hope you love it! (:"
Yes I want to. And I can if I just even try.

Mustn't listen to sad music. It really affects my mood a lot.

Last thing to mention... sorry Erin that I didn't go for Starstruck! ): Was really tired by that time though I tried staying back... Hope everything went well. (:


What else can you say. You hypocrite.



The silence isn't so bad
Till I look at my hands and feel sad
Cos the spaces between my fingers are right where yours fit perfectly



Yay cheese tofu! Love it! (:
But I've grown soooooo fat over the Chinese New Year period. ):
Stop eating, you fat pig! Nationals' in about 1 month's time!! :0



Cos I see your blue eyes every time I close mine
You make it hard to breathe.

I WISH YOU WERE A STRANGER I CAN DISENGAGE

Madhu!! Get well soon!!! (: Drink lots of water and keep sleeping till you get sick of it! :D If not don't come back, even though we miss you... Take care and recover! (: LOVE YOU LOTS! <3

Now I must really stay away from the computer. Cannot touch it at all. If not I won't move from my seat.


Aiya Friday how ah... Cannot go back XMS, cannot go eat ice-cream... What to do... zzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Need the whole holiday to study. Can't do vectors, didn't do respiration tutorial, not very sure about econs, and need to finish whacking the whole of Smith ASAP. Can't believe I took the wrong bus today took me so long to get home. ): I'm so tired...


Jiayou girl! Don't be deterred by the obstacles but keep fighting! (: You can do it! I have all the right plans for you so don't worry! :D


So chim. To us we don't need any prove to believe it, because it's already so natural. But if we do find evidence, it will help other people to start to have faith too. (: Although it's like the wrong way, because we shouldn't only believe upon sight.


Need to push myself. Need a little hug as well. Aww.


Don't just leave me hanging on. I need to make time for you, as well as myself.

Holidays coming! :D

Warning to everyone (esp myself): Don't eat too much! For people who are weight conscious, you'll become fat. For me, I'll become off-season and become unable to run. ): Oh man.

Tomorrow I have the external lesson with all the smart people again! Very hard to not stress, but I guess I'll try... (Ya, I'll try) Haiz... Hope I can understand tomorrow's lesson and don't embarrass myself in front of everyone. This time round cannot be late. >:(


This innocence is brilliant
I hope that it will stay
This moment is perfect
Please don't go away
I need you now
And I'll hold on to it
Don't you let it pass you by




Get out right now
Get out of my head.
I need to get some sleep back.
Hopefully I don't eat and sleep throughout the whole chinese new year period. Hard to say.


So why can't I turn off the radio? Actually I can, just unwilling to? Or is it lazy? Aiya idk la. Hahas.


Btw bestie jiayou!! :D Lol. Sorry to say but the prospects don't look that great... We'll see. (:

Slow down. And the things that you're chasing will catch up with you. (:

Thank God for such great friends. Feel much better after getting it off my chest. Well sort of. And thanks a lot for Madhu's sweetness! (: I'm getting diabetes! But seriously, without all of your support and encouragement and willingness to listen, I won't make it this far today. (: Still quite confused and blur but better already. (:

Can't get it off my mind, even though I know that it's not real. WHY?? So irritating... ):
Sorry for talking so much about the topic so much all the time. You all must have been tolerating my crap for very long... ): From now on I'll try! But then I will be like super quite because my life is so empty. Since I cannot talk about homework and tutorials, I'll be super lame. Brace yourselves. Muahahas.

Saw Mr Yip today, going home after playing tennis with his "friend", and only ended the game because (I think) they got chased out by the tennis people (Hahas Yi Leen was complaining how he has been so irritating to the tennis people for snatching their court). Then after the game he just walk by himself without waiting for his "friend" la! So bad. Then I said bye to Wenman during my training, purposely ignoring him because more often than not he ignores me. Anyway I think tomorrow cannot eat pizza already la... William got PA duty and Jingwei has to rush off. Saded. ):

But the IChO training was really scary. All the people there are damn smart. ): I just kept praying that the name selector thing won't pick my name throughout the whole lesson. Like that how to learn properly? So stressful la. But thanks to Mr Ng being so nice and everything that I got over the stress a bit. But if I keep staying here in front of the computer to destress, I'll only get more stressed. Vicious cycle. Sigh. Mr Yip was still like not stress won't improve and all. Haiz. Don't know how la.


Anyways I suddenly realised that I still have to do some shopping for V day! Oh man. Can only pray for time. There will be, but I'm not sure if I can manage or use it properly.




Just 顺其自然 lor. Bleh. Love you my BAOBEIs!! <333

Know your limits, and then ignore them.

It's amazing how much God is still protecting me, eg. for my bio test today, He really helped me a lot in my revision because I only started revising last night at 11pm and slept at 2am without doing part 4 of my ICS at all. Yet today I was able to sort of answer the questions. Also, I was lucky enough not to get called to present my answer during IChO training today, because I still lack practice and really need to buck up before I can catch up with the rest. Thank God, because now I know my weaknesses more and that His strength can be proven by my weakness, and through this I'll find wisdom from Him. It's such I shame I haven't been relying on Him and communicating with Him as much these days, due to all the work piling on me and me having no time to do them, and started to have less faith in Him. Now that I'm aware of it, I don't know if I can regain that faith in Him and thus prove it by having more confidence in myself as well, but I guess I'll try. I'm very screwed up these days, and I don't know why. Need to be closer. Also need to trust more in His plan and His faith that He'll only put me somewhere because I'm more or less up to it, just like how He won't tempt us beyond what we can bear. I must not feel inferior or give myself too much stress. Really feel suffocated today. Hope tomorrow will be better. Need sleep...

Happy birthday Avery Gan! :D

Today was so embarrassing la. I think I didn't know how to do most of the questions and Mr Yip had to help me all the time. And all the HCI and RIJC and NUSHMS and TJC people can somehow handle everything on their own. Must give myself more training. Need a little push here.

Thank Mr Ng too for talking to me and giving me so many advice. (: But I think my free calls for this month now used up already thanks to that long talk. 13 more days to go without calling with my hp. Right.

Can't breathe really. Don't know how. Feel like asking Albert Einstein how 24 hours a day was enough for him. :/

KM broke down! :D Sorry for the randomness but I'm somewhat happy and a bit disappointed. Should celebrate. Hahas.

How to be creative without being lame? So deep and so difficult la. Even Mr Yip said the alkaline room in NJ question was not funny. Haiz. Maybe it's just that he doesn't know how to appreciate. :P

Wonder how the studying session went today for Celine, Rachel, Samuel and John. Productive? I'll ask Celine tomorrow. :D

OK la should stop blogging about random stuff. Need to buy NJ badge from the bookshop for my new "friend". Don't know how I'll ever fit in.

Heard those unfriendly comments again. Shall ignore them and brace myself for GP tomorrow. Every time like fighting war or somthing so tense. Even she says it's like a graveyard, since we don't even dare to breathe. God give me strength!


Super stressed and super confused. But life goes on, so just prepare myself for tomorrow! (:





<3 YOU.