If it's possible, I also want.
It hit me so hard now it hurts so bad. I'm suffocating as the minute goes by. Hoping that something will happen, someone to save me out of this. But who can I blame, since I;m the one causing my own pain. Why am I inflicting pain on myself? I don't get what's going on. Something's terribly wrong. In fact, everything's wrong. Nothing feels right. I'm too dependent. I need to speak up and rely on Him more. Believe that everything's for my best interest (because it's true). I just can't figure out the feeling though. It's like I'm lost. ): And I can't even bring myself to listen to happy songs now. Because I simply feel too sad. Feeling so insecure that I can't stop peeling the skin on my thumb every time my hands are free. How I wish I have an eye candy that can cheer me up whenever I spot him from afar. One that I don't have to feel associated to, one that don't know my existence. Feel so confused feel so bad. Tomorrow got race I better rest well. Can't stand the feeling that I'm dying to hear something every moment. Or getting motivated to run faster because I didn't put in my 100% in the first place. But everything's going to end soon. So soon that I'm still in the shock that I;n going to do long jump. I love Lift You High by Planetshakers. I need to have that knid of love and mindset. Need to slap myself so as to wake up from the sweet dream before it turns to sweet. Or else I'll find myself crying when I wake up, when I finally realise that everything is not possible. Quick, wake up, before it's too late.
I felt like rubbish, but someone slapped me out of it.
See, verbal diarrhea right. It was like a 10 page long SMS. Just that at that time I didn't say all these out loud. It was inside my head, so loud.
I'm going to fail my psycho test man, at this rate. Need to tell my baobeis about it. (:
I think I'm giving myself too much stress because I'm too slack. Must push myself more. I feel very tired these days, although I'm not doing much. I feel so old. Oh man.
It was really scary. Dark and filled with screams. GET OUT OF MY HEAD!
I'm going crazy. All because of you, myself. Thanks ah.
Felt better after I reached home. Shouldn't have stayed back. Should be more independent. Anyway I've more or less decided to give up since I really cannot make it and focus more on what I can get. Maybe I should be more like the Benjamin I met today. Then I won't live until I feel so tired.
Mr Yip is crazy la. Ask me to go back to school tomorrow to ask him questions. He'll be very disappointed if he knows that I've secretly decided to give up, but he also admitted that even that Benjamin is better than me at concepts. I no hope already la. Sorry. (:
Can't laugh anymore. Anything that come out from my mouth now is either crap, or crap. Sorry baobeis. ):
This is so sweet. It's on a Facebook page It's like I want you to know, but I don't want to tell you:
here's a secret: I LOVE YOU ♥
So super sweet. :3
Must stop myself from imagining stupid things. Or hallucinating. I told ou I'm going crazy.
I really like this picture from It's like I want you to know, but I don't want to tell you. It corresponds to one of my notes in my phone that I displayed for quite a while. (:
It's so super duper sweet la~ LOVE YOU! :3
Ok I should go and rest soon. Race at 2.40 tomorrow. Weather: Dunno. Feeling: Scared. Jiayou! :3
You can do it! (:I'll still love you. (: I'll try to put down the hate, even those for myself.
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